We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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