No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
