you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize