I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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