theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
