Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
vagina is talking i cant
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
