O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
