i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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