While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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