It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
