Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
