We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
