dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
