guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
