Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
