i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
there is puke in my bra ... again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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