The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
