I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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