Don't make out with my wife yet
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
