There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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