We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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