At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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