Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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