Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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