he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
