hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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