We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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