Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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