It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
