And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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