He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
