as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
