Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
