ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
