Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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