they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
