dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
