2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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