What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
