brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
