I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
