Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
