Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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