K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize