I faked an abortion last night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
