the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
