Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
