when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
