I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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