How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize