your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
