somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
