So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
