I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
