I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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