Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
