She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
